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As the end of the school year approaches, Ted plots to help John lose his virginity after John learns he is the last virgin in school.

He's Gotta Have It

Matty's unorthodox Christmas wish is granted, completely upending the Bennett family dynamic; a trip to church gets John and Ted wondering about Ted's miraculous origin.

Loud Night

Blaire convinces Matty and Susan to let Ted act as their marriage therapist; after the session, Ted, John and Blaire encourage Susan to pursue the career she abandoned long ago.

Desperately Seeking Susan

Ted's plan to spend Halloween with John is thwarted when Blaire forces him to be her designated driver for the night; Susan tries to cheer John up by finding him a new friend.

Subways, Bicycles and Automobiles

Ted and John go to extraordinary lengths so that John can watch his first adult film; Matty and Susan's disappointing night out leads Susan to question their relationship.

Ejectile Dysfunction

Ted and John's plan to exact revenge on the school bully inadvertently puts them in a parental role; Matty agrees to get a colonoscopy -- on one condition.

My Two Dads

After Ted's latest stunt, Matty makes Ted go to school with John; Ted immediately decides to get expelled, leading him and John to purchase drugs from an unlikely source.

Just Say Yes

Matty evicts Blaire from his house after finding out about her drug business, so she bribes the family into letting her stay.

Just Say Yes: Part 2

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After his moment of fame passes, Ted the foul-mouthed teddy bear moves back into the working-class Boston home of his best friend, John.

S1 E5 | Desperately Seeking Susan

E7 | He's Gotta Have It

E6 | Loud Night

E5 | Desperately Seeking Susan

E4 | Subways, Bicycles and Automobiles

E3 | Ejectile Dysfunction

E2 | My Two Dads

E1 | Just Say Yes

Just Say Yes: Part 2