Name: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Genre: Comedy
Duration: 25 min

ALLTV

The only network devoted exclusively to the world of entertainment. Among E!'s compelling features are celebrity interviews, previews of the latest movies releases, and original programs such as Talk Soup.

E! HD

IFC is the ideal destination for indie comedy fans. From mandatory cult movies to rescued tv shows and original series, we deliver off-kilter content that is ALWAYS ON, yet SLIGHTLY OFF.

IFC HD

A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.

Two and a Half Men

Can You Feel My Finger?

Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

Just Like Buffalo

Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (Jane Lynch).

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Alan takes Charlie to meet with his sexy and determined divorce attorney, Laura, after Judith expresses concern that Charlie is a bad influence on Jake; Charlie and Laura begin a sexual relationship; Laura doesn't care that he dates other women, but she does have one request, Charlie must be available for her whenever she wants him; Charlie loves the idea, until Laura takes advantage of the situation; when Charlie tries to get out of the arrangement, Alan suffers.

No Sniffing, No Wowing

After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch).

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Judith's sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).

An Old Flame With a New Wick

Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.

That Was Saliva, Alan

Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie. Guest star: Jenna Elfman.

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Charlie realizes he's broke when his credit card is declined at the grocery store. Richard Lewis guest stars.

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Charlie sets his ailing brother up on a date, then drags him to a steam room to help him get rid of his flu symptoms.

Sarah Like Puny Alan

The essentials for national sports, news, and entertainment.

ENTERTAINMENT

The essentials, plus regional sports, MLB, NBA, college sports networks, and more.

CHOICE™

A full range of regional and national sports, news, entertainment, perfect for the whole family.

ULTIMATE

The most for TV lovers, popular premium networks included, plus regional and national sports.

PREMIER™

Enjoy ad-supported channels free of charge with MyFree DIRECTV.

MyFree DIRECTV

Popular entertainment channels. Includes Disney+, Hulu Bundle, and HBO Max Basic With Ads.

MyEntertainment

MyLocals

Add 10 additional Movie channels. Requires MyNews, MyEntertainment, MySports, or MyKids Base Pack.

MyCinema

MyNewsLocals

Add 9 additional Sports channels. Requires MySports Base Pack

MySportsExtra

Sports and broadcast networks. Includes ESPN Unlimited subscription.

MySports

Engaging channels for nonstop fun and learning made just for kids. Includes Disney+.

MyKids

Channels that focus on breaking news and information. Local channels included and vary by market.

MyNews

In-market Regional Sports Networks and National sports channels. Requires MySports base pack.

MyHomeTeam

60+ popular channels. Includes subscription to ViX Premium with ads!

MiEspanol

MÁS LATINO™

The ultimate bilingual TV package with live sports, news, entertainment, and 23 soccer leagues from 18 countries

ÓPTIMO MÁS™

MÁS ULTRA™

LO MÁXIMO™

Watch TV Networks, Shows and Movies | DIRECTV

The latest movies and must watch shows!

Watch Lanterns exclusively on HBO and the HBO Max app, included with an HBO Max subscription.

Data/messaging rates may apply for app download/usage. HBO Max subscription required.

Welcome to your ultimate entertainment destination. Watch new episodes of Lioness and more all in one network.

Watch exclusive originals like psychological thriller American Hostage, hit movies & more.

MGM+ is a trademark of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Lion Corp. All copyrights, trademarks, and other intellectual property or proprietary rights are the property of their respective owners.

Watch visionary original series like Outlander, Outlander: Blood of My Blood, Spartacus: House of Ashur, Power Book, BMF and much more.

Watch Hollywood hits like Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, Black Adam, and more.

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with divorced internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who bought the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie.

auxCol1

footer-common

helpCenterInfo

legal

business

options

footer-social

footer

footer-utility

auth

lightLogo

logo

recog

search

unauth

Alan offers to help get Charlie's cleaning lady back if Charlie can get Jake ready to go out to dinner with his mother.

S1 E4 | If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap